For a number of reasons the last few weeks have been tough. I seem to have had several battles going on inside my head which have taken their toll. I have resisted writing a post until i think i have reached the bottom and am successfully on the way back up and can thankfully say the last two days have been better. I had a visit to H, my lovely psychologist this week who as always was the voice of reason and talked me through various strategies which I’m sure have helped a great deal.
The subject of my parents and how they handled/dealt with/didn’t deal with my intersex beginnings is still very raw even though i thought i had successfully placed it in a compartment in my head which was secure and would no longer affect me. The reality of it is that it will most likely always be there so i need to find a way to deal with it better when it reappears so I don’t get bogged down by it. One of the things i am doing to try and help is taking part in a “September self care challenge” which is being run by my very caring GP. Self care was not something which even came close to my radar until about three months ago when i was introduced to meditation to try and help with my physical pain. The success of which i have written about previously and I’m very happy to report that it is still doing the job even though i must confess that I can’t even begin to understand how. To be honest I don’t mind not understanding it, it works so why question it? I am convinced i am only just scratching the surface of how powerful the mind is and I’m hoping that the September challenge will further my education.
the challenge involves setting aside some time every day for self care and I’m hoping to complete all 30 activities on the calendar supplied (i am blown away by the work that my GP has put into this!) The activities range from various forms of meditation to digital detox days and dancing to your favourite dance song (hopefully with no one watching!!!) and I’m really excited about getting started especially with our short break to Nusa Lembongan just a few days away. This should be the perfect place for some thoughtful time and my next post will most likely be from there. Watch this space!