I can’t deny that i was very down when i wrote last night’s post. All sorts of things were running through my mind like a herd of wild horses, do i need more surgery, if so where would i go? Will i ever be free of pain? It went on and on and the more i thought about it the worse i felt not only pain wise but in my head. Then i got to thinking about a conversation i had with some very good friends earlier in the day and decided to act on something we talked about. This led to a conversation with a lady this morning who shares the same name as me and who seems to have immediately “got me” consequently i now have something which i always considered to be hugely important in my selling career and equally so in my current situation, a positive next step! I have also gone back to the strategies which “H” my psychologist has taught me to do when things get tough and that is to do something which brings me joy. That is exactly what I’ve done today. For me that joy often comes from doing things which most people consider a chore like detailing my car but today for the first time in months i have sat at the piano on several occasions and tinkled the ivories. I was pretty rusty at first but it soon comes back and after my third session it actually sounded quite good, well, good for me anyway!
Not only do i have a positive next step which will happen on Tuesday but i was also given numerous bits of good advice including not leaving it until i am in lots of pain before doing something about it, something which I’ve actually put into practice late this afternoon and i can confirm my walk this evening was much less painful than yesterday’s. Very good news indeed -my evening walk is a very important part of my day and indeed my life, so being in pain for a good deal of it last night was a big worry. In the long term i realise taking opiate painkillers is not good but as they are the only thing which seems to make a difference in the short term that is the way it is and while the very kind lady this morning said she wasn’t happy about it she also said it is the better option than living in chronic pain.
Another bonus today was getting a new client in town which will hopefully lead to more work in the future, working for lovely people, always a bonus!