In August this year I wrote a post about my ticking off by both my GP and H, my psychologist for coming off Tamazepam without first consultating the GP. During the following appointment with H she talked to me about the differences I would experience once the drug in Tamazepam had completely gone from my system. One of them concerned dreaming and how I was likely to experience much deeper dreams and much more frequent ones and she has been proved right. I now dream almost every night, mostly pleasant dreams but somehow things went very astray last night.
We went to bed at around 10.30 as usual and I very soon fell asleep. We are both waking early in the mornings as it’s light at around 5am but this morning I didn’t stir much when Denise went for her walk, I must have gone back to sleep pretty quickly and somehow resumed the dream I was in, or more to the point the nightmare. I woke up in a hospital bed with tubes and wires connected to me, it was all very strange but my ex wife was sat at the bedside, she was overjoyed to see me awake but for me it was a nightmare I had woken up to. I asked where Denise was? She was confused and asked who Denise was and kept calling me Robin. I could hardly lift my head but I asked to look in a mirror, I was still Robin, I couldn’t believe it, I hardly recognised myself. All I saw was a very much older version of the photo I keep in my handbag which I look at when things aren’t going as well as planned so I can see how far I’ve come in the last two years. How could it all have been a dream? My ex wife told me I’d been in a coma for several years after an accident and although I was ok physically she said the doctors were unsure if I would remember anything. I told her that was the problem, I remembered it all including all the ups and downs of my transition to Stephanie. She asked me who Stephanie was and that was when I woke up, trust me the first thing I did was to jump out of bed and look at myself in the mirror to make sure it had all been a dream and my blissfully happy life as Stephanie was the reality. Thankfully it was all as I expected and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. What a nightmare!