The whole thing is getting very real and I’m so excited, we leave Busselton in less than 5 days and in around 330 hours I should be waking up from my surgery fully stephanised! Part of me is thinking it will be the end of a very long journey but a bigger part of me is thinking that the journey will just have begun in earnest as will my life, almost as though the last 56 years has been a trial run and not such a good one at that as I have not been the person I really want to be. In truth though I have had an amazing life up to now, the motor trade has taken me to lots of wonderful places over the years and I most likely wouldn’t have had the same success if I had been female sadly but inside there has always been something there, something missing if you like, as though I have only ever run at 80%, keeping 20 back for Stephanie and thinking about her every night when I go to bed. Even though I have not yet had the surgery and physically I guess I am still mainly male I no longer see Robin when I look in the mirror and when I look at photos it feels like a different person to who I am now. I still hold some pain inside about my parents inabilities regarding communication but as my wonderful psychologist said to me this morning, they would only do what the medical profession told them to do as in those days the doctors were like gods, basically you did what they told you to do without questions and maybe I am missing the point and one of the many doctors I have seen between the ages of 18 and 50 should have explained the whole lot instead of sending me to specialists who then didn’t want to tell me anything. It wasn’t until I started going to Sunshine medical that the process of finding out about my past started to take place and I’m eternally grateful for the care and support I have received, it’s a truly unique practice and I’ve told them so, they are all amazing from the reception to the nurses to the doctors. I was in there a couple of months ago and in the waiting room on my own when two ladies came in, one probably my age the other older, maybe her mother and they sat down near me and started talking, the older one said ” you always have to wait here, never get in on time, I wonder if this lady (meaning me) is waiting or just accompanying the person in with the doctor now” I didn’t say anything but was very tempted to say “there is a reason why you always have to wait, it’s because they care about their patients” never once have I been told your time is up and I don’t ever remember being in less than the allotted time but remember lots of times when I have been in twice as long as I should have been, the whole place has a caring empathic feel to it, I love them all.