Month: May 2017

Well we have arrived! Very tired as I didn’t sleep much on the second leg for some reason, now the dreaded American immigration to get through, we were towards the front of the queue so didn’t have too long to wait but then a girl who was three people in front of us had an issue, then the immigration guy’s computer went down so we were left standing there for about 20 minutes while he persevered then gave up and went to the next terminal. He asked me why we had applied for B2 visas, I told him I was here for a medical procedure, he stamped our passports and sent us on our way, we collected our luggage and headed for the hire car place. The Dollar rent a car depot was a little way from the airport but the shuttle didn’t take long and we arrived there when it was pretty quiet, we went straight to a desk and were allocated a car, a Nissan Versa, we booked a Focus, at first I was ok with it, I thought it would be like a Pulsar in Australia but when I looked at it I thought it was smaller, put the luggage in the boot and we set about getting the gps to work on my phone. It took longer than we anticipated but while Denise was doing that I decided that the car was not as booked so we went back in the sort a replacement. The lady at the desk was perfect, she suggested a few alternatives but nothing really appealed, I said that we had booked a focus because I was familiar with them, I would have been happy with a corolla if a focus was not available but she mentioned that she had a Kia Soul, I immediately said that would do, it was obviously in a higher band but she was happy to help, great service!

we eventually got the GPS sorted and headed, we thought towards our accommodation, sadly that was not the case and finished up near a navy base, anyway we eventually got going in the right direction and found our accommodation easily, it’s small but ok and will do until we go into the accommodation at the clinic. Talking of which, after having a nice shower we headed off to Ardmore to finally meet the people who have been so kind to me at the clinic, we found it easily and went to the door. Meeting Kami and Heather was just as I expected and hoped, big hugs all round, they seemed as excited to meet me as I was to finally meet them.

It is all very real now, as much as I am not massively concerned about the surgery, all of the talk about the bombing in Manchester and then a I watched a couple of movies which were quite thought provoking I am very emotional at the moment, I just want this so much, more than I have ever wanted anything at all in my life. I know there are going to be some uncomfortable experiences over the next few days and a good deal of pain after the surgery but I so want to be the person I should have been from the start that it’s not important, I have had so much pleasure in the last few months telling the people I love my story that it pales into insignificance in the scheme of things.

 

 

We arrived in Doha right on time, got off the plane then had to sort our accommodation for the 20 hours we were there, a hotel had been booked but through Qatar Airways so we didn’t know which hotel, we were soon sorted and on a shuttle bus to the Concorde hotel, it was a little tired but comfortable and the staff were excellent, we had to ask for more towels as there was only one and then the kettle didn’t work, all sorted out easily, we had a shower, some breakfast and a well deserved sleep. The rest of the  time there was uneventful and we were back at the airport before we knew it for our massive 14 hour next leg.

So now to the big news of the day, I received an email from the lady at the gender reassignment board to say that my case had been heard on Monday and that I had been successful! I am now officially female! I can’t tell you how it feels, it’s like the first big step on the paperwork side and it’s massive! I am now officially Ms Robin Ullyott for the time being, it means that we can lodge the name change the day after we arrive back in Australia and the new passport as soon as the name change thing comes back to us. We will make that golden wedding yet!!!

So this is it! This is what I’ve been longing for since the 14th of December, the day we booked the surgery. We were up early as we wanted to leave the place as perfect as possible for Megg, our house sitter. We stripped the bed and put the first of three loads of washing in, the weather looked ok so in theory we should get them all dry. I had a couple of little jobs to do, one work type job and a couple more in town, I returned home about 12 with a view of leaving at around 2.30 which we did, all jobs done, a couple of invitations to deliver on the way then up to Perth on the first leg of our journey which we calculated would take around 55 hours to complete. We met Josh and Louise and took them for dinner then they dropped us off at the airport.

Bearing in mind the fact that I have to leave Australia as Robin, arrive and leave Doha as Robin and arrive in Philadelphia as Robin I decided before we left to just wear Robin clothes and grin and bear it. I have been full time Stephanie now for a couple of months and to say I really don’t like going back would be an understatement but I don’t want any problems to hold us up so that was the plan so I drove to Perth as Stephanie so we could go out for dinner like that with a view to changing before heading to the airport but we went straight from the restaurant to the airport so I decided to stay in Steph clothes until Doha, arrive there as Steph and leave as Robin after our 20 hour stop over.

After arriving at the airport we joined the queue for check in, we are pretty early so the queue was not a long one, I scanned the people in front of me in the queue, I don’t know why but it’s something I do when I’m Stephanie and the first people I saw were my ex next door neighbours from when I lived in Black Wattle way, I couldn’t believe it, I haven’t told them about Stephanie which is probably remiss of me, they didn’t look my way so I just let it go but realised that I would need to talk to them as they were obviously on the same flight as us. We got through check in and went upstairs to go through security and there they were so I waited for an opportune moment and went over to them, put my arm round Val and Said “spooky who you bump into at the airport” she was shocked but pleased to see me, I said we needed to talk, she agreed and we arranged to meet at the gate.

We got a coffee and sat down, I couldn’t see them so waited for a while then I saw Val, went over and gave her a hug and she followed me to where Denise and I were sitting. She had pretty much worked out what I was doing but of course didn’t know the details and the reasons, she listened and was totally supportive, told me how well I looked and how much younger I look then we went to find Colin, he was sat having a glass of red with a friend of theirs who I met in about 8 years ago, he was also shocked but said I couldn’t believe how much weight I had lost since he last saw me. All in all a very positive meeting.

The flight started off ok, I watched a movie and we had a meal but shortly after that I started to feel hot and it rapidly escalated until I was just seconds away from fainting, it scared me a lot, thankfully two flight attendants came to help, moved me to a seat which had more room, gave me cold water and wet flannels to cool me down then sorted the the ventilation issue out which caused the problem, all the vents in the area we were sitting had been closed for some reason and it had just got hotter and hotter, anyway I was all good after that and the rest of the flight went without a hitch.

Today has been manic! So many beautiful people wanting to catch up either on the phone, by Skype or one of the many different options for messages. I am so blessed to have all these amazing people supporting me in what I am doing, I really feel I don’t deserve all this love!

I can see tomorrow being much the same, we plan to leave early afternoon, I can’t see it happening as we both have so much to do but will try anyway. A massive thank you to all my friends and family, you are all amazing!

The whole thing is getting very real and I’m so excited, we leave Busselton in less than 5 days and in around 330 hours I should be waking up from my surgery fully stephanised! Part of me is thinking it will be the end of a very long journey but a bigger part of me is thinking that the journey will just have begun in earnest as will my life, almost as though the last 56 years has been a trial run and not such a good one at that as I have not been the person I really want to be. In truth though I have had an amazing life up to now, the motor trade has taken me to lots of wonderful places over the years and I most likely wouldn’t have had the same success if I had been female sadly but inside there has always been something there, something missing if you like, as though I have only ever run at 80%, keeping 20 back for Stephanie and thinking about her every night when I go to bed. Even though I have not yet had the surgery and physically I guess I am still mainly male I no longer see Robin when I look in the mirror and when I look at photos it feels like a different person to who I am now. I still hold some pain inside about my parents inabilities regarding communication but as my wonderful psychologist said to me this morning, they would only do what the medical profession told them to do as in those days the doctors were like gods, basically you did what they told you to do without questions and maybe I am missing the point and one of the many doctors I have seen between the ages of 18 and 50 should have explained the whole lot instead of sending me to specialists who then didn’t want to tell me anything. It wasn’t until I started going to Sunshine medical that the process of finding out about my past started to take place and I’m eternally grateful for the care and support I have received, it’s a truly unique practice and I’ve told them so, they are all amazing from the reception to the nurses to the doctors. I was in there a couple of months ago and in the waiting room on my own when two ladies came in, one probably my age the other older, maybe her mother and they sat down near me and started talking, the older one said ” you always have to wait here, never get in on time, I wonder if this lady (meaning me) is waiting or just accompanying the person in with the doctor now” I didn’t say anything but was very tempted to say “there is a reason why you always have to wait, it’s because they care about their patients”  never once have I been told your time is up and I don’t ever remember being in less than the allotted time but remember lots of times when I have been in twice as long as I should have been, the whole place has a caring empathic feel to it, I love them all.

Today I have built a partition wall between the back verandah and the outdoor area at Shelduck. It’s something I’ve been going to do for many months but finally got round to it today and I have tos at it looks amazing, everything went to plan, every thing fitted the way it was meant to and in the end it was very satisfying.

i am still receiving comments from my post on Friday, surprisingly not from some of the people I expected to comment but the best news is that I have reconnected with a couple of people I’ve not spoken to for 10 years or more which is lovely. I haven’t had a single negative comment which is great for building the confidence, I don’t even think about it now, I am Stephanie full time and. Dress accordingly which gives me so much pleasure and happiness.

Today I have spent most of my time reading and replying to wonderful comments after putting a shortened version of my story on Facebook. I am totally humbled by the love and support that I have been shown, yes there have been some shocked responses but nothing negative at all. We chose to go down the route of a controlled roll out of information after long discussions with Denise and my psychologist and it has proved to be the best possible plan, apart from one person everyone I have told has either kept it a secret or asked us if it was ok to tell someone else which we are so thankful for, we both really appreciate your integrity and discretion.

Today has been a very productive day, firstly an email from the lady dealing with my gender reassignment case giving me a date and time for my hearing, 5.15pm on the 22nd of May. As it’s the day we leave for America we will be up in Perth anyway so I would love to be present even if it’s just to show how committed I am to my journey but also if there are any questions it would be good to deal with them at the time and not have to handle them from America when I will be focused on the surgery but it will make it tight getting to Stuart’s and to the airport so time will tell.

Secondly, an email from Heather at the surgeon’s clinic to say all my test results are good, they have all the relevant signed consent forms and my payment has gone through so I’m all set to go, I’m so excited, it’s just 12 days till we leave and I can’t wait!

And thirdly, the first roof sheets went on the house today, in fact the whole back verandah is finished and it looks amazing, hopefully we will get the front done tomorrow then we are just waiting for the insulation and fire defence stuff to arrive before the rest of the roof can be done.

All in all a very good day and just what I need in the build up to Philadelphia!

The plan was for both of us to go to the block today but Denise had stuff to do here so I went on my own. The job I planned to do didn’t happen as I came across a problem and didn’t have the tools to sort it but I used the time to tidy up the shed, sweep up all the sand and fit the carpet round the shower and toilet, it had been annoying me for some time.

on arriving home I received an email from my ex boss in Yorkshire, having worked for them for 11 years I was fairly close to them and wanted them to hear my story first hand rather than from a third party, they were so appreciative that I had done, very understanding and supportive and will do a great job of telling people in a very sympathetic way and I’m sure tell the full story. I can’t wait to call in to see them when we are over, a lovely end to the weekend.