Month: March 2017

Today started badly, another email from a relative in the uk with a negative tone to it questioning if I had “thought through” what I am doing and fully considered the consequences, it immediately made me see red!
What is wrong with them I thought, I have had 43 years to “think through” what I am doing and trust me I know it’s the right thing to do. I replied to the email and left no uncertainty that I was unhappy with how the email had been worded and told a few home truths about how I felt and what I thought about my brother and his treatment of me. The sad thing is that it didn’t make me feel any better but instead sent me into a day of feeling very down and unhappy, as much as both the psychiatrist and Hayley the psychologist have both told me that it’s their problem not mine, I don’t want to fall out with people and I have very few family members left so should really try to conserve my relationship with those that are. The funny thing is I felt more like trying to get my relationship with Dave back on track than I do about my brother, I think that is because Geoffrey upset Denise as well so went too far over the line in my view.
To his credit, Dave responded to my email in a quite apologetic way, I understand that it is a big thing for them to get their heads around and that I have had 43 to think about it but if he had said in the first place, “I have heard a rumour that you are making some changes, can we talk about it so I get the full story” it would have been much more sensible, anyway, I replied to his second email by sending my story in letter form which I had done for his parents to read plus a short explanation and a photo of Stephanie taken in January, the response from that was lovely, I think people are surprised how nice I look, to be fair I am 10 kilos lighter than the last time I saw him so that would help! Anyway, the day ended good, I sent him a couple more photos, one of the block and one of my favourite place Esperance.

Denise and I have been at Nannup today and had a very productive day, the weather was not so good so it was always going to be touch and go if we could work on the slab building the trusses so instead we built the stud wall in the shed so we can have some privacy in the shower and using the toilet. I have to say it looks magnificent! Denise had the idea that instead of buying plywood to cover the frame we should use the colour bond sheets and acrylic sheet left over from the shed build and it really worked, it looks like it really belongs there and is part of the shed, all in all a really satisfying day!

Just a short one today, we went into town and walking past Noni B saw that Louise was working so popped in, Denise saw this really lovely top and as much as I shouldn’t be buying any more clothes, I don’t have much in terms of autumn clothes so I tried it on and loved it, Louise mentioned that everything on a particular wall was on special for $20 so we went for a look, now I definitely don’t need any more dresses but she found a lovely Liz Jordan dress which had been $179.95 and it was there for $20, now there was no way I wasn’t having that! I also picked out another top from the $20 wall so was well pleased with my haul for the day!

Well it’s Friday again and a big day ahead! First job is to take the Hyundai into bunbury to get the aircon fixed or at least rule out some of the things it might be. As usual Aileen was most helpful and after our conversation about surnames last time she had put a line through my surname and said she would get it altered on her system, now i wondered what she had in mind as we hadn’t discussed what me name was going to be so I surmised she must be thinking I was changing it to Davies so I told her that was not the case, she looked at me and asked me to write on the job card the name I would like her to change it to so I wrote in capital letters Stephanie Vaughan, she looked at it, looked at me and looked at it again and said “that’s a nice name ” we left it at that! She showed us to the loan car and we left, drove to centre point car park where I changed into my dress, put on my makeup and we went shopping after a visit to muffin break for coffee. We had lunch at the dome after shopping then went to my speech therapist for my appointment. Leah is just lovely, she puts in so much work for my appointments. After that I called Aileen to see if the car was ready, she said it had just been brought out so come in when you are ready, is said “before you go, as I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable, it will be Stephanie who picks up the car” she said that’s fine so we headed for the dealership, when we arrived she was just showing some people to their car and welcomed us, I felt terrible doing it this way to her but she assured me it was fine and said I look great, we proceeded to the service desk and she explained that the car needed to go back for a couple of days and she booked it in. All in all I think that was exceptional service, given the seeming change of gender she was the upmost professional!
We drove home and started preparing dinner for my ex bosses, I was really looking forward to seeing them and telling my story but have to say with some nerves, I shouldn’t have worried, they were amazing, even offering to host a dinner party so I can tell my story to two other couples who I worked with and were close to which I was struggling to think how I was going to tell about Stephanie.

Not a good day today, Margaret and Robert have now officially backed out of coming to Esperance with us, a trip which has been organised for a good long time for my birthday. For some reason I got it into my head that it was because of Stephanie and that they had a problem with me transitioning, I texted Margaret who assured me that it wasn’t, anyway I brooded about it all day until I got a call from Robert making sure I was ok and reassuring me that it was nothing to do with Stephanie, I said I was ok with that but still can’t help being very disappointed, we were so looking forward to going back to Esperance, it’s one of my favourite places in the world and we so looked forward to showing them all the best bits. Anyway, another time I guess!

What an amazing day! Had Guy and Kate round for lunch and to tell Kate about Stephanie, they were both amazing, I am constantly blown away by the kindness and love that is shown to me when I tell my story and today was certainly no different. I had only met Kate a few times and hardly knew her but as soon as I started telling my story it was as though I had known her for years, she was beautiful! Gave me a massive hug at the end, again when I changed into Stephanie and again when they left, so lovely as was Guy, I can’t get over how much support I have had and offers of help, it makes me feel very humbled and lucky to have so many wonderful friends around me.
Then this evening we met Denise’s half brother and his family from Cardiff (on Skype), that too was as though we had known them for ever, lovely people, very friendly and so pleased to have connected so all in all a wonderful day of which I seem to be having more and more, transitioning is certainly good for me!

Yesterday was a massive day on lots of counts! First and foremost it was 86 days since I booked my Surgery and 86 days to go, I can’t tell you how excited I am, I just know the next 86 days are going to go so fast!. Secondly, last night I spoke to two very important people in my life, my aunt and uncle, for the first time after my amazing ex wife Fliss and equally amazing ex sister in law Lynne took the time to visit them, give them my letter and sit with them, explain the reasons and answer their questions about what they had just read, they were so supportive of my journey and it meant the world to me that they were. They were two people I was really struggling with how to tell, Fliss came up with the idea and her, Denise and I adapted and expanded the letter so it would make sense to them and tell as much of my story as possible in a relatively short, 3 page passage. My relationship with them has always been better than with my mother and over the years lots of things have come to light about how particularly Joyce was unfairly treated by my mother and my past coming to light as it has over the last 18 months made lots of sense to them. Their parting shot was that they are both looking forward to meeting Stephanie in August.  Something that I thought might have been a very uncomfortable experience all round I’m sure will now be very positive, also, they are very much in touch with my relatives and family over in the uk so will go a long way in paving the way to promote my journey in a positive way to them which is so important to me. Thirdly, we made good progress on our house build in Nannup, from a very daunting pile of studs, braces, noggins, base and top plates and a huge number of boxes of screws (12000!) we now have 7 completed wall panels plus one 2/3 done, I should mention that we have probably done some of the easier ones but each one we completed gave me more confidence and I’m sure they will only get easier! I should point out that it was 35 degrees on the block yesterday so we certainly did some perspiring (clearly, ladies don’t sweat!) but we kept at it and we’re both very pleased with the progress!